Nine years ago, I completed my ICF coach training.
A memorable moment was when my trainer gave feedback on a coaching session we'd just watched. She said:
"There's always a good reason and there's always a real reason."
Good reason: "I don't have time."
Real reason: "I'm scared to put time into this project and then maybe fail."
Good reason: "We should keep this CRM system. We're all so used to it now."
Real reason: "If we try something new that's more efficient, I might be less significant. I don't know if I can handle that."
Good reason: "I'm just not sure I want to start my own business."
Real reason: "I don't trust myself to commit to a project longer than 6 months."
Considering this distinction can be powerful.
If we stick to conversations that touch upon good reasons, we stay surface-level and don't get the chance to get to the core. If we're conscious of this distinction, we can hear what someone's really saying by asking: "Is this good or is this real?"
Helping someone else figure out how they use good reasons to not move forward can be an incredibly helpful thing to do.
The best part? This question is the most powerful when we dare to ask it to ourselves ❤️